Untold Stories



On one hand I am angry and thoughts of why didn't I just get shot or loose a limb, if I had maybe I would be in a better place, on the other hand I am grateful I wasn’t injured and pissed that my family isn’t here for me, leaveing questions like if I would have been injured, would my family have even been there to help me if I had been injured? Who knows; this is part of having invisible wounds as you sit back and only thing I can do is watch those who take advantage of me because I feel like my hands are tied and there is nothing I can do. I have become so consumed with the fact that no one supports me or why work and continue to take advantage of me and treat me like less of a person. Its no wonder when I was young drinking and trying to learn what PTSD is and learning to cope and deal with pain, I only wanted to end my life and end the suffering. 

In life you can't always expect people that can help to do so and those that do help can not always expect something in return if they truly consider themselves helping unless legally agreed to do otherwise. I will never live a day of my life ungrateful and just because I get angry don't mean I am ungrateful. I struggle with PTSD and life can be much more difficult to navigate especially if you want to do the right thing. I would love to one day have the means and chance to repay people that have been there for me and in order to do so I  know I can not give up, I know I need to perfect my skills, I know I need to communicate properly, effectively and professionally. So don't think for one second that I am angry but in the background I am just sitting around not trying to help myself. I will keep my head up and I will continue to do my best at providing a better quality of life for my children. If that opportunity comes one day I know I will be prepared to perform and give it my all as I have time and time before. #N2M


My question for Americans that are truly fake and only pacify people in order to continue satisfying there selfish pleasures and comfort. Yet we continue to recruit our children for $4.25 an hour to go off and fight our wars, leaving them helpless as they give everything they have to defend, protect and complete a task for you lazy ass, racist, self indulging, worthless civilians that just sit back and complain about issues you wont even stand up and face and try to do whats right by you, your family and you community. No matter how difficult no matter how many people turned their heads away from me, no matter how tough the situation I personally allowed myself to go through things and I was grateful I had self control when it came to acting out and going to extreme actions.  

Think about this if a soldier was being paid $15 an hour that means after one deployment he would have made $129,600 in one year.. Think about that for a sec.... you think veterans would still have the current problem they face if they had been paid a little more during service?

If more people helped veterans then America wouldn't be so fat and lazy. I say this because in order to eat healthy you have to spend a little more money yet people continue to eat unhealthy just for pleasure that (GOOD TASTE) and to have more of it. This is exactly the issue with helping our veterans instead of our men the elders standing up and helping their sons, nephews they would rather say hey you either obey our skewed perception of life or get out and we want nothing to do with you.  I say men and boys because the reality is our COMBAT veterans are mostly men, this does not mean that a woman in a support company has not seen or experienced combat but this does mean that specifically infantrymen are all men and these are your frontline fighters that 90% of the time are young, and come from poverty so in perception that means 90% of our combat soldiers are veterans after one or two or three deployments are left to hang dry after discharge because these men are still young and only have experience in one thing and this also has to do with the fact the military failed to produce certificates for all the task combat veterans have done, leaving them with untransferable skills that the civilian workforce wont even respect or recognize. People would be much more quicker to buy that poison food, that football ticket, that porno than to face an extreme issue and that is leaving our loved ones that served and are now disabled out to dry and die in vain. Everyone wants to rally up to help unknown veterans through indirect funding when these are the same people that have a family member that served and is suffering. The perception is that if you don't help directly then they can go seek help else where right? how is this possible if the veteran is lacking the knowledge to even help him self or how about the issue that the money you just gave to a big organization did not even make it back to the suffering. This is because they choose to use the donations to pay bills and through strict guidelines and expectations and requirements only some veterans even qualify for the the little help they can offer with what is left after paying their expenses. SO because you would rather turn your head to vet personally and give it to a 3rd party and not to veterans that are out here suffering and not only do these organization benefit from the veterans suffering but you get to walk around glorifying the little help you think you did. I sit and wait and look everyday through my emails hoping just one person would give me a chance for the experience and also to make some extra money for my children. Am I a ungrateful person because I expect more from society and believe I deserve more just because I went out and completed the task at hand? I see it like this if people flipping burgers can make a fuss to be paid $15 an hour then in that context, veterans deserve a lot more then what we receive. Its like ok you went off to war does this mean you can just sit back and be lazy and have everyone take care of you through paying their taxes and government using this money fund disability checks and other funding to help veterans.  Yes and no is what I say, you can find the positive and negative in anything it depends on your perception. Yes because what gives people the right to manipulate society into giving up their money to a football ticket over helping someone in their own family? also no veteran deserves to be treated negatively and struggle just because he or she has exhausted themselves in the military and just want to sit back and enjoy life and not have to give up more time and health just to survive in a country they fought for and gave everything when the trumpets were blowing. Its not a matter of wether the war was right or not when it comes to helping our veterans, that issue is for the people you directly or indirectly voted for and the people you give the power to make decisions with other peoples lives.  All the answers may or may not be there and your perception may lead you to think in extreme ways but if you just stop complaining and pointing fingers and handle the situation at hand that is making sure that no matter what our children choose to do we have their back. Trust me we don't want america to get to a place where no one wants to join the military. This is why I always try to understand both sides of the fight. You can be mad as I was for joining so young but this is Americas problem, how could I blame the military for recruiting in such ways when their doors are open to society to volunteer, and they choose not to join because of beliefs, selfishness, comfort and many other reasons. So our young un-judgemental and or uneducated choose to join and help our country with a task that is at hand. In america we like to glorify those who experience extreme war fights, the idea that war is all about fighting shooting and protecting only our military, assets and country. Is this because we have to convince or give justification for the violence and harm we experience during war? or is it to make us look tough and feel sorry for those you gave the most (their lives) and if you did not get into some horrific firefight then your story is less important? Is war not justifiable unless their is fighting and loss of life and what is war? What I can say is my story does not go down that road and the task I completed was to win the hearts and minds of the people and we were their to help and give people hope. We were doing more for the people and children in Iraq then the rich and famous were doing in Africa yet we don't have commercials begging for money to help complete our task. Its not like they make a dateline story about all the young veterans that gave out that reaching hand, comfort and protection to the children throughout our wars. Yet the media will do a story about a famous person helping one or two people and glorify them. Is this because the media serves us? Are we are our own worst enemy? why wont we share and glorify the untold story of the good our military has done is this because we have become obsessed with violence and only enjoy the entertainment of violence and loss of life? My question is who is benefiting from our duties, why is it that people are allowed to infringe and benefit from our duties and sacrifices? You can’t just take Miami heat logo and sell t-shirts or make videos with out having to pay them royalties which is how they are able to pay their players so much money yet when someone wears our uniform in a movie or takes our war stories to turn them into heart and gut wrenching movies to change your perception about the military yet these rich people and big companies don't pay veterans and soldiers royalties when they profit millions off our stories, our sacrifices, and blood sweat and tears. Think about it the military channel the history channel, the movies, the music, the costumes I say because if its not an actually military uniform thats what it is. You would much rather glorify and give your money to someone like Mark Wahlberg for Lone Survivor so he can turn around and use his profited millions to choose to help maybe one or two veterans and now he’s a GOD or saint? when all his profits only exist as long as he is able to use someone elses story or made up story about the military. So the next time a friend or family member that is a veteran, reaches out to you for help and you choose to ignore them think about what you really stand for and question your own morals when you choose to give your money to someone that does not  even deserve it on our behalf. It is ours and your responsibility to help veterans wether they are a friend or family. It is not someone else or some big organizations responsibilty to do so and how can you consider yourself a better person if you choose not to help?



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