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It has been a couple weeks since I have blogged and a lot has happened. I finally had everything I needed to take a trip to NY, something I been wanting to do for a while. not only did I have the motivations, reasoning, extra money and the only thing I needed was time so I took it. Sometimes in life you got to take chances to do whats right for yourself. It has been 2 years now and going on 3 since I have been able to visit or see my daughter. I know a lot of her younger years are now going to be confusing to her and she might even find blame to pin on me. All I can do is whats best for my future and my reasoning behind this is myself as a young struggling veteran/man I found myself in many situations where I wish I had a parent that could help. I also can't sit back and use this as an excuse to not do anything for myself or even put the blame on my parents. I have found myself in a place in my heart and life where I am not sure if I can personally blame my parents, I say this because there has been many misfortunate situations and choices I was left with in my own life, The only reason I have made it as far as I have is because the military took the fear out of me and forced me to be able to stand on my own two feet and see things from a different point of view. So I ask myself would I want my daughter to blame me? How is she perceiving our situation and sometimes its heart breaking that I myself am now standing in the same shoes as my parents even after giving it my best. Because I carried the fear of standing in my parents shoes one day I failed to realize my whole life was falling apart around me because I have forgot or never learned what it really meant to be a parent. I ask myself now would I even really care about my past if I was able to just knock on my parents door and have a place to sleep or ask to help with one of my bills, maybe even a vehicle repair or something as simple as a nice dinner and some someone to talk to and be real with. I know that my choices have got me into the situation I am now in with my daughter and that I now wear the label as the bad guy so now the only thing I can do is my best on a daily basis and pray that it pays off ten years down the road so when shit does hit the fan and get real and my daughters are knocking on my door for help with finances, boyfriends, anything that I will have the resources and the proper answers for them. I know I can't continue to blame my parents for their mistakes and misfortunate situations but I can rise up and be a man and father and secure the resources I might need down the road for these beautiful girls, I would be heart broken and lost if I ever found out my daughters had to disrespect themselves or lower their standards to another man because they don't have the resources needed to change or handle situations they might find themselves in one day. I am now producing a documentary and products and this is the start of creating and securing my daughters future. Check out what we have at http://www.never2muchdesignphotos.com also you can check out my work http://never2much.prosite.com and if you want to support us go ahead and purchase something, Everything is hand made and 50% of proceeds will be secured for these two beautiful girls future.
Shirt fundraiser
It has been a couple weeks since I have blogged and a lot has happened. I finally had everything I needed to take a trip to NY, something I been wanting to do for a while. not only did I have the motivations, reasoning, extra money and the only thing I needed was time so I took it. Sometimes in life you got to take chances to do whats right for yourself. It has been 2 years now and going on 3 since I have been able to visit or see my daughter. I know a lot of her younger years are now going to be confusing to her and she might even find blame to pin on me. All I can do is whats best for my future and my reasoning behind this is myself as a young struggling veteran/man I found myself in many situations where I wish I had a parent that could help. I also can't sit back and use this as an excuse to not do anything for myself or even put the blame on my parents. I have found myself in a place in my heart and life where I am not sure if I can personally blame my parents, I say this because there has been many misfortunate situations and choices I was left with in my own life, The only reason I have made it as far as I have is because the military took the fear out of me and forced me to be able to stand on my own two feet and see things from a different point of view. So I ask myself would I want my daughter to blame me? How is she perceiving our situation and sometimes its heart breaking that I myself am now standing in the same shoes as my parents even after giving it my best. Because I carried the fear of standing in my parents shoes one day I failed to realize my whole life was falling apart around me because I have forgot or never learned what it really meant to be a parent. I ask myself now would I even really care about my past if I was able to just knock on my parents door and have a place to sleep or ask to help with one of my bills, maybe even a vehicle repair or something as simple as a nice dinner and some someone to talk to and be real with. I know that my choices have got me into the situation I am now in with my daughter and that I now wear the label as the bad guy so now the only thing I can do is my best on a daily basis and pray that it pays off ten years down the road so when shit does hit the fan and get real and my daughters are knocking on my door for help with finances, boyfriends, anything that I will have the resources and the proper answers for them. I know I can't continue to blame my parents for their mistakes and misfortunate situations but I can rise up and be a man and father and secure the resources I might need down the road for these beautiful girls, I would be heart broken and lost if I ever found out my daughters had to disrespect themselves or lower their standards to another man because they don't have the resources needed to change or handle situations they might find themselves in one day. I am now producing a documentary and products and this is the start of creating and securing my daughters future. Check out what we have at http://www.never2muchdesignphotos.com also you can check out my work http://never2much.prosite.com and if you want to support us go ahead and purchase something, Everything is hand made and 50% of proceeds will be secured for these two beautiful girls future.
Shirt fundraiser
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